19.4.17

Waiting.

It's been a trying first few months, to say the least. From starting a gig as a temporary worker to having hurdles of issues thrown my way, I've been feeling a bit adrift.
Adrift (adj./adv.)
Synonyms: drifting, unmoored, unanchored,
1. Without purposed, direction or guidance.
2. No longer fixed in position.
It's a jarring feeling, having known nothing but a set course, chartered and drawn on the map, and to have the map snatched and taken, crumpled and replaced by another. It's like going from a detailed plan to a scribbled up map by a 3 year old version of yourself. You can generally get the gist of the location, but can't see anything. 

It doesn't help that whenever you think you have it figured out, something new just crops out of nowhere.

For someone who constantly had plans, even contingency plans for these plans, and to have it all proven moot, this was a slap. All my life, I have known where to go, what to pursue, and now standing at this declared precipice, I now stand unmoored.

But then again, that's not really true,

I know where I'm heading. I know the general direction, but I still feel afloat, lacking purpose, lacking real direction because everything is still up in the air. 

and I don't know how I'm gonna get through any of this with all the inconsistent variables, with all this uncertainty. 

but then there really is nothing more to do than to just wait and see. 

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