When you're leaving me, you're the one reassuring me.

I know I've been pushing the boundaries of positivity and optimism lately, with me spewing the 'love solves all' mindset, and that it all comes down to patience and communication.

But truth is, it's still a punch to my gut, whenever I think of you going on that plane, and that I won't be able to see you for a few years. It's the clawing pressure building up against my ribs, that has my eyes water and disgusting snot accumulate all the way through my nasal cavity.

It's like there's something about the moment, when you know someone you care about is going to leave you. even if it's not permanent like death, but oh my god, it just does something to you.

It's done something to me.

I can't even spare a moment to fricken care about anything, about anything at all, but have you lingering in the back of my mind. With practically barely 2 weeks left to go to your impending departure, everything I do each day, now has to atleast come back to thoughts of you.

Are you okay? Will you be okay? How will everything be? How will everything turn out to become?

I'm in love with you. and I trust you. and I oh, so, god, love you, so much.

I'm just deathly terrified.
but you're holding my hand
and that's so right
and yet so wrong.

you're the one leaving, and you're probably scared. but here you are reassuring lil old me.

I don't deserve to have you.

but I'm so glad I do.